My friend Hasini is getting tired of Lost.  She says the plot is getting too convoluted and she's losing patience.  I love Hasini, but today she told me "real friends tell each other when they're wrong".  So....Hasini, you're wrong.  And tonight proved that.  Because the season 5 finale was freaking off the hook!  I can't even begin to describe what happened, but I'll try.

Jacob, who is most definitely a real person and most definitely NOT Christian Shephard, proceeds to visit most of our main characters at important parts of their lives.  And he and another mysterious man seem to be engaged in a battle for some sort of supremacy (over the island?  over something bigger?).  We see the side profile of the statue, which Jacob actually lives in.

In 1977, Kate, Sawyer and Juliet leave the sub and return to the island to stop Jack.  Along the way they meet up with Vincent, Rose and Bernard!  Sawyer tries to convince Jack to stop his crazy plan, but Jack refuses and the two fight.  Sayid gets shot and seems very near death.  Eventually the action converges on the Swan site, where the incident seemingly occurs and the electromagnetic energy starts sucking all metal objects into a hole that Radzinsky was drilling in the ground.  Juliet gets sucked into the hole, but she's still alive at the bottom.  Until she sees the un-detonated bomb, that is, picks up a rock and starts banging away at it.  Then it explodes and we fade to white.

In 2007, we see that Ilana is actually working with Jacob and she takes Bram, some of her other pals, and Lapidus on a long trek to the statue.  Richard has led Locke, Ben and the others to the statue so Locke and Ben can speak to Jacob.  BUT, it turns out Locke isn't really Locke.  Locke is actually dead (and inside that box Ilana and her pals were carting around).  FakeLocke, however, is the mysterious man who succeeds in killing Jacob.

Crazy, right?  You have no bloody idea.  Click here to read the entire recap.